No, no, it’s not a profane word. In fact, it’s a word that is fairly common and yet to more and more people, it’s a word that reminds us of our humanity.
Growing up, I was in no way a daredevil or carefree child. I was cautious and never intentionally did something that could cause injury and to this day, I’ve never broken a bone. Partly because of my cautious nature, but also partly because I’m terrified or breaking something in my body. Even typing those words makes me cringe.
When I was growing up, I never thought of myself as fearful or one to struggle with anxiety. Sure, I liked things done in a certain way, but it never caused sleepless nights or anxiety if it didn’t happen the way I had planned. Now things are quite different….
I’m finding myself in fear of a lot of things. Truth be told, I can pinpoint that it got a whole lot worse when I had my car accident. This was the moment when life as I knew it changed and the everyday things that I used to do became a distant memory. Fear took over when I started having panic attacks after I started driving again. Fear took over my mind when I thought of all the things I couldn’t do anymore. Fear took over with my recent blood sugar issues. Fear took over my dreams of the future. You know, the one that had a Prince Charming, a picket fence and a couple kids in it.
You know what I hate most about fear? It robs me of joy. It robs me of excitement for the future, or things I dream of and it robs me of the progress that I HAVE made in the years after the accident.
Lately, as the one year mark of my shop inches closer, I find myself fearful that this will all end. What started as a part-time job has turned into my full-time, this-is-how-I-make-my-income, job. What if customers don’t need sequins anymore? What if I can’t come up with my creative ideas for dies? Seriously, the list goes on and on.
FEAR. It’s only four letters but it causes havoc in our minds and bodies.
Want to know one things that has been helping me deal with fear? YOU ALL. Lately I have been having numerous blog readers, friends, or customers randomly (and yet all around the same time) bless me with e-cards, gift, notes or emails. Knowing that I’m not facing these challenges alone is so incredibly helpful and reassuring. These journeys, both my health and business ones, are ones I have been open about since the beginning. It’s been amazing to see how me being open (and sometimes downright vulnerable) has opened doors to friendships with readers across the world. Now I wouldn’t wish chronic illness, unknown health issues or a car accident on anyone, but knowing that these are doors that have prompted friendships is crazy-yet-amazing to me.
This may sound silly, but I’ve also been reading my previous posts and seeing how far I HAVE come makes me a little less fearful. If you’re new to my blog, you may want to read these previous posts:
- Finding Joy In the Journey
- Worrying Will Never Change the Outcome
- Change Is Inevitable
- Purpose In Life
Do any of you suffer from fear? How do you deal or cope with it? I’d loved to hear from you all about this topic. I know I’m not the only one who suffers from it! *wink*
Whew! This was a long post, but I was long overdue for a heartfelt post and I wanted to share a little bit of what’s been going on with me. I miss chatting with you all and while I’m “officially” a business owner now, I still think of you all as friends and I hope that you’re okay with me sharing posts from the heart. ♥