Hello, sweet friends!
It’s been two years since I’ve done a personal blog post and I definitely come on here a bit apprehensive. I feel like my writing skills are rusty. In the last two years, my business has grown and the blog has definitely become more business based and there’s always a vulnerability when you open yourself up in a personal blog post. However, I’ve done it in the past and it brought wonderful people across my path and I was able to talk to others who could relate to me, people I could encourage and at a point where I could barely leave my house because of the pain I was in, having a connection to the outside world and a sense of purpose was so powerful and writing (even when I didn’t know if anyone would read) was so therapeutic.
In the five years since the car accident happened, so much has changed, I have changed. I’m no longer the same person I was pre-accident and to be honest, I think that’s a good thing. I’m more empathetic to people, more sensitive and caring, I don’t take things for granted (I no longer take going down the stairs, taking showers, going to the store, walking, being able to sleep, brush my teeth, drive, eating normal food and so much for granted), I have a heart for those who battle chronic health issues or have been in any sort of accidents and the list goes on and on. I can’t say I understood any of these things before.
Back in November 2016, I took two months off of work which was beyond scary for me. I had fears that people would forget about my business and when I opened back up it wouldn’t be as busy, but I knew in my heart that I HAD to do this for myself, for my health. Around that time, I was not doing well and knew that I had been overworking and stressing my body. That in itself isn’t good for someone who is doing well physically, but someone who is battling health issues, stress and working crazy weird, long hours is just not healthy. I had to train myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour, be okay with resting and not constantly checking emails, re-learn how to spend time with family and friends and be fully engaged, and to start taking care of myself mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. This was a scary time, but it was also a sweet time. I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. There were many nights when all I wanted to do was work (hello, workaholic over here) but I instead spent time with family or friends and developed even more precious bonds with them, I learned that it’s a wonderful thing to not be attached to your phone at all times, and there is so much more to life than just work. Now don’t get me wrong, I love working, but it was my whole life for three years every moment I felt well and I never really took moments to enjoy what I had built.
BALANCE. Since I re-opened the shop after my hiatus, I’ve been trying to have a healthy work/ life balance. The hiatus did wonders for my body and I had felt better than I had in YEARS. I was able to drive again, go to events and activities, I had energy…. it was like the old Paulina was back (the one up for adventures, able to do things and go places) and that was beyond exciting. I forgot what it was like to actually live life outside of my house or 10 mile radius. I can’t even begin to count how many times I cried after an event because I was so grateful I was able to be able to go. I felt like I had missed out on so much but I hadn’t realized how much I had missed out on until I got to experience some of it again.
SETBACKS. Within the last five weeks, I’ve had a few setbacks and we’re trying to figure out what happened. I was doing so well and making so much progress and then just last week, I was back in bed over 18+ hours a day unable to do anything. I feel like this whole journey has been a rollercoaster ride filled with ups and downs and unexpected turns and while I’m ready to get off the ride, I’m not sure it’s my time just yet. I’m hopeful that I’ll continue to make strides forward and this is just a tiny setback and I’ll get my energy back. Now that I’ve experienced what life could be like again, I definitely don’t want to miss out on anymore and want to continue to have fun, new experiences.
THANKFUL. As I think back on the last five years, I get teary eyed. I wouldn’t be here without the support of my family. They have been so faithful and supportive. They’ve driven me to countless doctor appointments and tests, made sure I had my own meals, took me to various stores and would hold me up when I couldn’t walk on my own, they would never cease to encourage me and tell me that I’ll get through this and remind me that I’m not alone in this journey, help me with my business and so much more. Then I have some amazing friends that have been with me through thick and thin. I can’t even begin to say all that they’ve done from notes and cards, gifts, texts, meals, taking me out on little outings… I have no idea how I got so blessed with such amazing people in my life but I am so thankful for them. This journey can be so lonely and tiresome at times, especially when there doesn’t seem to be any answers, but then I’m reminded I am NOT alone.
CHALLENGING YOU. I’m not sure where you are in your stage of life. Maybe you’re at a good stage and have the ability to encourage someone. There are so many that are going through a hard time- reach out, send a card or give a meal- you have no idea how much that could bless them. Maybe you’re at a stage in life where you’re on your own rollercoaster. Hang in there. I’d actually encourage you to write down what you’re going through, your thoughts and emotions (it can be on paper or in a private blog). There is something about looking back and seeing where you’ve come from, especially since we can forget details. It’s been so rewarding to look back at my old posts and read where I’ve come as a person, the lessons I’ve learned and what things I used to write about- some of it is humorous now!
I had no idea the direction this post would take, but as always, I wanted to write from my heart. For those going through your own journey, I’m sending you big, big hugs….♥
*you can view all my previous personal post HERE